Comparison called, but you don't have to answer
This one’s for the girlies who are tired of feeling behind and need a reminder: you’re right on time.
Dear Cheerleader,
Everyone around me seems to be moving faster. Promotions, engagements, side hustles, houseplants that aren’t dying. Meanwhile, I’m barely keeping up with my inbox and have eaten string cheese for dinner three nights in a row. I’m trying, but it always feels like I’m behind. How do I stop comparing myself and start feeling like I’m enough?
From,
Running late on life
Dear Running late on life,
First of all, string cheese for dinner? Honestly, what’s wrong with that? That’s basically halfway to a charcuterie board and we all know how much the girlies love a cheese board.
Second. Something that took me years (and many, many journal entries) to truly believe: you are not behind. You are on your timeline.
That influencer announcing her third promotion? She’s on her own path (and probably battling her own doubts). Your friend who seems to have it all together? She likely wrestles with the same late-night spirals you do. We all post our highlights and quietly carry our in-betweens.
And right now, it’s easier than ever to compare. Scroll long enough, and suddenly everyone seems to be living a better, flashier, happier life. Emphasis on seems.
What we’re seeing are curated moments, not full realities. You get their highlight reel, but you don’t see the behind-the-scenes anxiety, the crying in the car, or the 27 takes before that “effortless” video. And if we keep measuring our real lives against someone else’s filtered ones, we miss the beauty quietly unfolding in our own.
It’s human to compare, we all do it. But lately I’ve been thinking about something Mel Robbins said in her book The Let Them Theory: Let them have their success. Let them post the wins. And meanwhile? Let you get honest about what you actually want.
And take a moment to pause and reflect on how far you’ve come! Maybe you’re already living a version of the life you once dreamed about. Maybe you’re building toward something else. Either way, success isn’t a race—it’s a relationship. One you build with yourself, with trust, intention, and time.
So when you catch yourself thinking, “I’m behind,” pause and ask: Behind whom? By what metric? And who made that up anyway?
You’ve heard the stories—Vera Wang didn’t start her label until 40. Viola Davis got her big break at 49. Kris Jenner launched an empire at 52. These aren’t exceptions—they’re reminders that your time is not running out.
Instead of measuring your worth by milestones, try noticing your momentum. You got out of bed. You answered a tough email. You watered your plant (or at least acknowledged it). That counts. That’s movement.
There is no universal deadline for thriving. And honestly? You’re not late—you’re just on your own timeline.
What You Can Try This Week
Limit the scroll. Every time you compare, remind yourself: you’re seeing someone’s curated highlight reel.
Track small wins. Did I finish a tricky email? Did I call a friend? Did I get fresh air? Tick those off.
Ask: “Behind compared to whom?” Zoom in on your goals. What actually matters to you.
You’re not behind—you’re just not on their path. Stop refreshing someone else’s life and start paying attention to yours. Zoom out, take a breath, and remember: slow progress is still progress. You’re doing better than you think. Keep going. You got this!
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